No reservation this time

Dear Oprah show -

Boo.

I didn't get a reservation this time. Although I am sad, I will not be discouraged. I will check the website every single day for an opening. I KNOW that I will be seeing you this season. I WILL be in your audience! :)

love,
kath

Oprah's last season

Dear Oprah show -

Like thousands of other viewers, I want to attend a taping of a show during this last season. I've tried to call and sign up online over the past several years, but wasn't dedicated to the cause. I pray my name will come up in the lottery. I have a good feeling about this!

In the words of Meredith Grey on Grey's anatomy... Pick me, choose me.

I am sure my story is like many others... I admire Oprah. She's a true hero and role model of mine. Her drive and ambition along with her heart and compassion is truly inspiring to me. It makes me strive to be a better person.

<3,
kath

Racetrack

Dear race fans -

During the long, long hours I have spent working at the past couple of events at the racetrack, you have provided me with much amusement and helped pass the time. Thank you so much. Here is a list of some of what I saw while there; those who know me know that I took pictures, but I only shared those with family...

• the heat miser in woman form
• spiky high heels with skin tight black hot-pants (think ONJ, Grease)
• severely burnt red face and neck with pastey white arms and legs
• lots of red necks, for real
• black stubble on a burnt red belly...you know that he probably couldn't run a razor over that burn!
• 4 pregnant women (one wearing WHITE pants and a thong)
• side-to-side walkers
• cowboy boots with cutoffs
• lots of mullets; some braided, some curly & flowy, some gray and wirey...business in the front - party in the back!
• a grown woman with a pink care bear backpack with long pink colored hair
• lots of big, huge beer bellies
• ESPN2 sportscaster that showed me proof that lighting makes ALL the difference in the world!
• a lady with hair past her butt that was in a ponytail...that had a colored terrycloth hairtie every 3 inches. AND a big plastic comb in her back pocket. She was drunk. Very drunk.
• a white banana clip holding up permed hair!
• a grandpa walking with his 2 or 3 year old grandson on his side belly - the boy looked like a sack of potatoes...poor kid was so light skinned with red hair; i just hoped that grandpa remembered to put sunscreen on him. he also was bow-legged and pigeon-toed. super cute though.
• a side to side walker with a huge beer belly whose white t-shirt had cut off sleeves advertising Butt Rub... yummy.
• a HUGE number 1 tattoo that was red, white & blue...cuz that's what he is - #1.

Here are a few phrases that I mastered during my time:

• "No, I am not making a fortune off these beer prices."
• "I wish I could give you a volume discount, but sorry, I can't"
• "Yeah, this is GREAT spot! And yep, the smoke gets bad here!"
• "Yes, it is BEAUTIFUL weather for the nationals!"
• "Yes, I do have ear plugs in." And to the old man who kept pretending to speak, but really wasn't just to see if you could mess with me, you're an idiot, but I was nice to you so you would tip me... Yeah, that didn't work cuz you are an ass.
• "Oh yeah? That's great!" Seriously, I have been doing this for 8 years, I have NO clue what is going on at the actual event. I don't know the drivers names. I don't really care.

you all are the best,

kath

Snickers candy bars

Dear Snickers -

You really do satisfy. There's no lying in your advertising.

Licking my chops,
kath

Live with Purpose

Dear soul searcher -

"Live with purpose"

That's what I have been subconsciously doing for a long time - at least as far back as when I was pregnant with my first kid. Before then, I was just gliding through life without a thought or care about what was I was going to do with my life. I feel like I've been struggling to find a purpose or find MY meaning of life...why am I here? what am I supposed to be doing with my life? what inspires me? how am i supposed to use myself here on earth? what is my spirit all about? what is it that my soul is trying to tell me?

I've spent countless hours trying to work through this. Over the years, I've read books, magazines, blogs, websites; I've consulted Oprah, my real life friends, my online friends, my family - but I haven't figured it out. I understand that it's a journey...I get that, but if I could get some focus, that would be wonderful.

I attended a training session today at work about Life Balance and Time Management thinking that I could do a couple of things: 1) get training points that will apply to my Individual Development Plan and 2) continually work on my time management skills (I LOVE things like this! - geeky, I know) - all FREE @ work. How cool is that?! And what am I faced with once again??? "Live with Purpose", "Create a Mission Statement", "Get Inspired" etc.

I mean, seriously, the universe is trying to get my attention. I GET IT!!! I am consistently presented with opportunites to try to figure myself out. I notice them. I pay attention. But, I am just not figuring it out.

If anyone out there can help me on my path, I'm open to suggestions. I love this journey, but I'm REALLY ready to be heading down MY path now.

all ears,
kath

Boeuf Bourguignon

Dear Julia Child -

I've decided to make this famous recipe of yours. I admit that I'm a little nervous. I even had to look up how to brown-braise those little onions...I've never even bought pearl onions....or bacon with the rind still attached. This will be a lot of "firsts" for me. I am preparing to embarrass myself in front of the butcher getting the beef and bacon. What do I say? How do I ask? I can do it, right?

I even have to figure out what dish I'm going to cook/bake it in. Someday, I would love to own one of those awesome casserole pans that you can use on top of the stove as well as in the oven...maybe that will be a Christmas wish list item?

I realize that you passed away several years ago so I guess this is directed to your spirit and hopefully I can feel you with me as I attempt this recipe.

thank you for the inspiration,
kathy

Signs

Dear employees -

DO NOT EAT FOOD
THAT DOES NOT
BELONG TO YOU!!

Really? Seriously? We are grown up adults. Isn't this a general rule known by all?

Obviously not if we must post this sign on the breakroom fridge...

However, if there is a yogurt in there, help yourself.

dumbfounded,
kath

Pompous Jerk....

Dear jerk-off ~

I know I said I wouldn't talk about you again...but I can't help it.

Please don't talk to me anymore. I don't want to hear what you have to say. I can't even fake being nice to you.

I don't like you. You don't like me. Why should we waste our time?

I don't care what you have to say. You clearly think you are better than me. But you are sadly mistaken.

I am not sure how long I will be able to hold my tongue and not lash out at you. I have to let out the pressure - get it out there in the universe so it's out of my head. I can't afford to explode out of nowhere, right?

pressure released for now,
kath

Minor hit and run

Dear Toyota Camry driver ~

So, I'm wondering, did you even realize that you hit a mailbox this morning and that your passenger side view mirror was hanging by a wire? You know - the one on Township Line Road by Dan Jones Road in Plainfield.... You hit it solid. Never hit the brakes. Turned on Dan Jones like nothing ever happened.

The mailbox was fine. I noticed as I passed it. I was far enough behind you not to catch your license plate but saw you hit it. I was on my way to work and sort of felt guilty not following you to flag you down.

Were you texting? Oprah would be so mad at you. Luckily it was a mailbox and not a person.

curious,
kath

Justin Bieber

Dear 13 year old self -



It's 2010 and I'm 41 years old. Yea, I know it's hard to think of me THAT old, right? Especially when your mom is roughly that age now and BOY is she Ooooold!



There's a teen singer named Justin Bieber that my daughters are listening to; one is a teenager and one is a tween. One will admit that she likes him...but not too much (yeah, right!) and the other one won't admit to anything. I admit that I took my daughter's latest JB CD with me to work today and totally blasted the radio. I have no shame - I let it play loud and proud.



This I know for sure...that if he was around at your age, I would have torn his picture out of the Teen Beat or Tiger Beat and taped him to my wall. That is, if my mom bought me the magazine. My girls don't ask for those magazines with the teen idols in them - not sure if it's because they don't know the magazines exist or they really don't care about them.



I keep telling my husband (you would like him) that JB is my new boyfriend - and he just shakes his head... He thinks I'm crazy or he feels sorry for me...not sure which. Yes, I know he is only 16 years old. I don't like him in that creepy way! So, don't think any less of me please. I like his music and think he seems like a nice boy based on some interviews I have seen recently.





you smile, i smile...

kathy

Girl Say Huh?!

Dear Girl Say What?,

You said 'stay tuned'.

I've been staying tuned for a week now. Waiting anxiously to see the first post.

I need a good 'OMG I'm gonna pee my pants' kind of laugh soon.

please, and thank you,
kath

What's happening?

Dear 30 something thinner me -

WTF? where did you go?

I've always heard that saying 'once you turn 40, _____' fill in the blank:

• your metabolism slows down
• your energy level isn't what it used to be
• things start sagging
• blah, blah, blah...you get the picture

I had no idea it was FO REAL! I'm telling you that now that I'm officially IN my 40s since I turned 41 a few weeks ago, that something major is going on with my bod. I've not changed my diet; in fact, I'm eating out way less and the pounds are piling on.

Walking is not cuttin' it.

This sucks big time.

Not looking forward to bathing suit time on vaca. Seriously.

kath

It's Official!

Girl Say What?!

It's about freakin' time I figured out how to become a contributor to this crazy train:) Thanks Sis! Stay tuned......

White t-shirts

Dear men -

White t-shirts are a great staple of a wardrobe. I have always liked them for both men and women. V-necks, crew-necks, either one... as long as you follow a few simple rules:

1. Once your white t-shirt isn't white anymore, you must discard it. That is gross.
2. Size is important - make sure it isn't too small. That is not attractive.
3. If you have man-boobies, please rethink wearing these white t-shirts. Yes, I'm talking to you, the dude mowing the grass out in front of the doggie day-care place last week.

your welcome,
kath

Toothbrushes

Dear family -

you all know that i have two children. this picture was taken in their bathroom tonight... where did all these come from? and who uses them?

confused,

kath

It's Friday!

Guess who's back?  Back again?

have a fab friday!

kath

Girl-nails on men

Dear men -

I saw a man today with longer, more nicely manicured fingernails than mine - which I know isn't saying much because I don't spend alot of time on my nails. I didn't get the nice fingernail gene from my mom's side of the family like my sisters did, but whatever....

Anyway, I couldn't stop staring at this dude's fingernails!

First of all, for an overall burly man, his hands are surprisingly well-maintained; borderline metrosexual. His hands looked so soft that I would place a bet he uses more hand lotion than I do. His wide and long fingernails were remarkably clean. Not a smudge of dirt to be found underneath those long nails. Now, I find that so hard to comprehend how he keeps them so clean unless he is constantly cleaning them during the day. I could be sitting still for hours doing nothing and dirt finds its way underneath my nails. It's actually gross and a big problem of mine.

My main concern is that I don't understand why he had fingernails that were way past the tips of his fingers? I've never seen a man with huge man hands with girly-fingernails.

He does have a mustache though - maybe that means something?

intrigued,
kath

Dear "Girl Say What??!!!!"

DUH!!!!!!


Contributor,
Number 4

test

Dear 'girl say what?!' -

i was able to accept the invitation...why aren't you? do you have a google log-in & password? if not, you will need to set one up so that you can be a contributer...

administrator
lol

Ladies room?

Dear Ladies -

Someone brought in a pretty pink hand soap and lotion set and placed it in the drab restroom a few weeks ago. And although it does add a little bit of femininity to the grayness, I am not sure it's going to work out - yes, I knew that even after just a day.


So, here's my suggestion to you ladies....if you use the handsoap and you drop water all the way from the sink to the handsoap and back to the sink, WIPE IT UP!!


I wiped off the counter 3 times today cleaning up after you people. I didn't even use the pretty smelly handsoap! Please, please, PLEASE be courteous to all the other ladies that use the bathroom.






enough already,


kath

Dogs

Dear Speedy -

When it's pouring down rain and you go outside to do your business, why can't you forgo your sniffing and going in circles to find the best place to poop ritual?

I guess I shouldn't care since I'm not outside getting wet with you - except to put you on the lead; however, you do come back into the house with that gross wet dog smell. You aren't earning any bonus points in my book for this.

impatiently,
kath

Sweater weather?

Dear sir in line @ marathon gas station today around 11:30 A.M.:

Did you know it is 72 degrees and sunny out today? Why are you wearing a heavy sweater? I started overheating just looking that thing.

still cooling down @ 2:54 PM,
kath

Seen @ the gym

Dear gym rats -

I noticed a few things yesterday while at the gym...

1. If you are going to utilize the treadmill or elliptical - or really anything at the gym - don't wear flip-flop sandals.
2. Men - even if you tend to your hair like Ryan Seacrest, shave the fuzzies off the back of your neck.
3. The wire to your headphones should be on the OUTSIDE of your wife-beater, not the inside.
4. Please don't pick the treadmill next to me when there are 20 others around if you plan to run 2 miles in 15 minutes - especially when you are a cute girl and in shape.

you are welcome,

kath

It's Your Turn Ladies!

Dear women -

Here is a sign that applies to you. There's a few things that bug me about this notice:

1. I'm thinking they are UNsanitary items.
2. "Get an empty bag and place in trash container"...OK but what do I do with my items? Explain further please.
3. I don't understand the clip art on either side of "by sinks!" Is the empty bag getting hurt when placed in the trash container? Is someone going to knock me out if I don't follow the instructions - and I'll fall on the floor and see stars? I don't get it? I have weird boing sound effects going through my mind...

grossed out completely,

kath

Attention Gentlemen!

Dear dudes -





I'm not using the term gentlemen because if this notice below applies to you, then the term 'gentleman' doesn't apply to you...





If someone has to tell you to flush the toilet/urinal, you have a problem.





thanks,


kath

Korean side dishes

Dear mama's house -

you make some YUMMY food!!! i'm thinking a family trip is needed - who's in??


mouth is watering,
kath

Old lady

Dear family -

My uveitis is back. I haven't had a flare up since 2006. I believe that it's linked to my joints and inflammation because I recently started powerwalking and I'm sure my joints were like, "WHAT THE HELL???"

Anyway, I made an appointment with the specialist and he worked me in the next day. I was always told to have a driver because they were going to dilate my eyes, but I never had one - not even back when the girls were little. I would always drive myself there and home...no problem. I decided to have a driver this time so my friend Tania rode with me - that was a hard decision.

I'm not old. I'm no where near being old but this office is filled to the brim with blue hairs. All the memories came flooding back when I walked in the door. Remembering when I had 2 LITTLE kids when I started going there in 2001.

I was called in by an not so friendly nurse - she was new since I'd been there last. We went through the pre-screening; she updated my medical history, took my blood pressure, eye pressure, checked my vision and then put in the dilating drops. There is another waiting room where people go to wait while the drops do their job. I took a seat in the farthest corner away...I was the only person in there. An old man who was flirting with the nurse came in saying that he knows better than to talk to strangers... Of all the 20+ empty chairs in that waiting room, he walks clear across the room and sits 2 seats away from me. I think had I not put my purse in the seat next to me, he would have sat down there! I looked up and smiled - thinking he would talk to me, but he didn't. Then I wondered why he came all that way to sit, but not talk. When they called my name to see the doctor, he said "you leaving me so soon?"...

You know you are in an old folks doctors office when this is next to the toilet in the bathroom...


still a young'un,
kath

DId I really just say that?

Dear family -

Yesterday was a frazzled day for me. Before the winning vs non-winning ticket deal, something funny happened at work...

After washing my hands in the bathroom, I noticed a string hanging off the bottom of my shirt. I grabbed it and figured out it was the tag to my shirt that was sewn on the side seam. Of course, as you would guess, my first instinct was to yank it off. But after the first tug, I knew that it would pull the seam out. I was holding onto it as I was walking out of the bathroom door.

I ran into another co-worker on my way out. You know that awkward little dance you do when you both are trying to go through the same door. She stops. I stop. We both try to go at the same time. We both stop. We smile politely at each other. She looks down. Sees I'm holding the tag. Doesn't say anything. I look down to see what she's looking at. Realize it's the tag. I muttered something about it being my tag... and then told her that I was going to try to jerk it off as I let her go through the door first. Yes, that's what I said, JERK IT OFF as we were passing each other in the doorway.

After she went into the bathroom and I was in the hallway, I busted out laughing saying, 'jerk it off', to myself. Giggled all the way back to my cubicle and took this picture so I could share it with you. :)

frazzled,

kath

p.s. in case you wondered, I cut it off.

Non-winning Lottery Ticket

Dear Jim @ Speedway gas station,

I'm sorry to say that you did not sell me the winning Powerball ticket yesterday afternoon when I visited the station. Based on our agreement stipulation of winning, you lost out on the new car you requested.

You were nice enough to not call me out for being so absent-minded and for that, I thank you! When you asked me if I wanted the winning ticket or the non-winning ticket, I imagine that many comments flowed through your head when I replied, "I don't know. Can you explain the difference?". When you didn't answer and I looked up to see your facial expression, it occurred to me what you had asked me... DOI! I have to admit that I wasn't totally paying attention - if that wasn't obvious enough for you. I don't buy lottery tickets often, as I mentioned to you, but when I have, I'm usually asked something about payout or buyout or something I don't even recall...see how much attention I pay to it?

with a sad, sad heart,
kath

p.s. You told me it only takes one ticket to win. Just not mine, this time. Iwon't be coming to your speedway until I'm not mad at you anymore.

haters

Dear haters,

this one's for you. i have nothing else to say. i'm speechless. but, this makes me smile every time i see it.



love,
kath

Pronunciation

Dear all speaking folks -

Him is pronounced [him]...sounds like hymn. Not heem.

Bin is pronounced [bin]...not Ben.

Study it. Know it. Learn it. Live it. Speak it.

you are welcome,
kath

Smokers

Dear smokers -

If there is a sign that says "THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING IN THIS AREA", what part of that do you not understand? There are only a few restricted areas around here - you have the entire rest of the parking lot.

The problem for me, personally, is that you leave your cigarette butts behind - polluting the environment. That gets in my crawl. There are probably 500 butts surrounding the ground just where the signs are. It's almost like people have emptied their ashtrays there.

Smoke all you want, even in the non-smoking areas, but take your freaking trash with you!



earth lover and non-polluter,
kath

Other authors

Dear other authors of this blog -

What's up? You going to contribute anything or WHAT?

xoxo
kath

Flash mob envy

Dear flash mob organizers -

Please invite me next time. I want to be a part of a HUGE flash mob at some point in my life. I learn fast. I'll listen to instructions. I won't complain. I'm an incredible candidate. Really I am. Ask my family and friends - they will tell you.

Of course, I wasn't at the big Oprah 24th Season opener with BEP because you didn't invite me. I love watching it - it never gets old. I get excited every time I see it. Your flash mob doesn't need to be this HUGE, but a large one with impact would be great. Thank you.



love,
kath
future flash mob-ber

Recycling

Dear Diet Rite drinker @ my office -

WOW!!! All I can say is WOW! Holy cow you drink alot of Diet Rite Pure Zero cherry cola!! This was only half full 2 days ago when I last dropped off my Diet Pepsi bottle in the recycle bin. And I thought *I* had a DP problem.

So, today when I went to recycle my 2 cans and saw what you left in the bin - I decided today that I am totally fine and drink DP within normal human reason. You, on the other hand, have a true problem. I wonder if they have support groups for addicts like you.




still stunned,
kath

American Idol

Dear AI producers,

You have to ditch the opening group act. The past two weeks have been awful...horrendous in the words of Simon Cowell. It is beyond cheesy. THIS is the kind of amusement park or cruiseship sing and dance that the judges tell the kids to NOT be... ironic.

Play it back...even the contestants think it's embarrassing. You can see it in their eyes. If they tell you different, they are lying. They want to please you and the judges.

Thank goodness for DVR so I can put myself out the misery of having to watch that part!

a big fan,
kath

Shrimp Tacos?

Dear Taco Bell -

Shrimp Taco? Really? The thought of a tortilla filled with itty bitty shrimp makes me almost throw up. And don't get me wrong, I love me some shrimp...but one at a time, not all thrown together like this.

Ewwww,
kath

p.s. i can't believe i didn't get a picture of the advertisement. i'm disappointed in myself.

Rick Springfield

Dear Rick Springfield,

You were such a huge part of my life when I was growing up. I had your albums and stared at the cover for hours while I sang along to all your songs...knew all the words by heart. I had your posters on my wall. Yes, I was one of the girls who plastered posters of my teen idols all over my bedroom wall. I thought Working Class Dog was awesome. I even liked your movie, Hard to Hold, which really is a stretch.

This is how I remember you....



So, please stop the plastic surgery and age gracefully. This is just not a good look for you. You can still sing and drive the girls crazy with nostalgia but I guess I will just have to close my eyes and picture you back in 1981 singing Jessie's Girl...



love,
one of your biggest fans

Excuse me, you have something in your teeth

Dear everyone,

I'm here to tell you once and for all that it is SO OK to tell a person they have something in their teeth - as long as you are discreet and tactful, of course. I shouldn't have to tell you that part.

I get it... Most people are uncomfortable telling others about the piece of broccoli or speck of black pepper that is lodged unknowingly in their teeth. You don't want to embarrass that person. I totally understand your perspective; I really do.

But really, are you knowingly going to let me walk away smiling my huge smile without telling me? Don't worry about embarrassing me. I will be more ticked off that you didn't tell me. You'll thank me for this note the next time you walk around all day with crap in your teeth.

love,
kath

Short McDonald's Sign

Dear McDonald's @ Mount Comfort Road and 70,

Why is your sign so short? What happened? Did they mess up the pole shipment? I would suggest you get your money back. It's useless.



love,
kath

Laundry

Dear Family,

I am tired of fighting the laundry battle. I am so very thankful that my husband does alot of the laundry these days because I finally gave up the control of having to have it all done my way. Boy, why didn't I think of that YEARS ago? He's kind enough to have a "Taboo" pile that he puts anything in that he even remotely thinks I would want to wash myself. He even sometimes labels it for me. I appreciate that.

I am tired of inside out laundry. I've gone back and forth over the years...between turning the clean laundry right side out before folding it and saying screw it & folding it as is. It's a never ending battle. If I feel like it, I will turn them right side out before washing; but I refuse to do this with socks. I am doing enough by touching those stinky things to put them in the washer. I'm not putting my hands into those balled up socks to turn them right side out. No, thank you.

I am tired of clean clothes that sit folded in baskets. I can't complain too much because I'm guilty of it too. It never fails, if we are on top of keeping all of our laundry washed, we are usually behind in putting it all away.

I hear people say to wash, dry, fold and put away all at one time - that way it doesn't sit there. Yeah, that just doesn't happen in my house on a regular basis. Please don't tell me what to do anymore. I am tired of feeling bad that we don't do this.

My mom is the QUEEN of folding laundry. How can you fold 10 tshirts and the pile is level? Seriously, who can fold a fitted sheet besides her & Martha Stewart? She takes the time to match up seams, smooth out wrinkles, fold nicely and smooth it out into its particular pile. It's an art to her, really. I didn't get this trait from her; nor do I mind. Although I appreciate how nice the laundry looks after she gets done, I just don't put that much effort my folding.

I've decided that the laundry will get done when it gets done. And we are OK with that, thank you very much.

love,
kath

Dishwasher

Dear Dishwasher,

I have missed you. After spending 3 and half days of hand washing dishes, I am so glad to be with you again. Did you miss me too?

OK, I admit...I didn't really mind hand washing the dishes while I was away because I was only washing dishes for 2 people - who didn't really use that many dishes or pots & pans. But now I'm back home and there are 4 of us dirtying up dishes and cups and plates and pans... It's overwhelming at times and I enjoy that you help me get my work done. Please don't tell my mom that I put pots and pans in there from time to time, OK? I'm not up for that discussion...thank you.

Although I guess I shouldn't complain too much because at one time growing up, my mom & grandma were washing dishes for 7 people! Now that I have a family of my own, I totally understand their anger and frustration of my choice of grabbing another cup out of the cabinet to get a drink of that yummy red Kool-aid rather than using the same cup. I find myself telling my own kids to re-use their cups! You might be wondering why we didn't have a dishwasher with that many people in the house...oh we did have one. It was the same 70s yellow as our Tappan stove unit - see pictures in other blog entry. I would bet that thing was used MAYBE 5 times in its lifetime. It wasn't plumbed directly to the sink so there was a tube that had to be put someplace for water and draining - I'm not really sure how that worked. Like I said, it was rarely used as a dishwasher. It did an awesome job as a shelf and a cabinet though. I can't remember when we got rid of it.

So, anyway, I promise that I will do my best not take you for granted.

with love,
kath

Girl Scout Cookies

Dear Girl Scouts @ the Plainfield Kroger,

I'm sorry I avoided you today. I saw you when I came into the vestibule and the thoughts started of what I could say when asked by your sweet little face if I would like to buy some Girl Scout cookies..."Sorry sweetie, I already have some" or "You know, I have a girl scout at home" or "No thank you, I have plenty". I guess I should say that the lies started - because that's what they were. Luckily you were busy with customers as I grabbed my cart, passed your table and went inside to get my list of a few things.

I've been in your position selling girl scouts cookies with my girls. I know how hard it is to sit in that cold vestibule watching people avoid us all the while hoping that the doors would close so the wind would not come in... Believe me, I know how mean people can be; you almost wish they would avoid you rather than be hateful. I get it.

You don't know that it's been a very long several days for me. It was raining pretty steady outside. I had been driving for an hour and all I really wanted to do was get home. I haven't seen my family since Thursday morning. So, as I checked out in the self-checkout line, I weighed the choices of 1) go out the main entrance and have to talk to you - knowing that my vehicle was fairly close to that entrance or 2) go out the other entrance and avoid talking to you - knowing that my vehicle was much farther away and I'd have to walk much farther in the rain...

I guess you can figure out which decision I made; hence my note to you.

I am still a little damp as I write and I felt guilty for a second, but that has passed.

My apologies,
kath

Tappan Microwave/Stove/Oven Combo

Dear Tappan,

Thank you for being such a great microwave/stove/oven combo. I can remember the day when you were installed in our kitchen in the late 70s. It was a momentous occasion in our household. You have no idea. I was at my friend Melinda's house when you arrived but I could barely wait to get home to see how beautiful you were. And you have not disappointed us for over 30 years. Washers and dryers have come and gone...septic systems have been updated...but you are still kickin' it.

Although, the microwave hasn't been used very much, the oven and stove have been put to the test. Grandma and Mom never really liked the microwave oven and preferred cooking traditionally on a stovetop. Hmmmm...I didn't get that from them. Cooking food for 7 people at one time in your glory days, you were in constant use. I'm sure you enjoy the break these days with just cooking for 2 people.

I really never cooked much on you because the kids weren't really allowed to do much cooking. I tried to make a pizza once and nearly burned the house down...who knew that Grandma also used the stove as storage for her wooden handle pans?? I for sure didn't know...until that day. So, as I have been cooking the past few days here, I'm reminiscing about you. You still have that ticking sound when I turn the knob to "LITE" the burner. I don't cook well with gas since I've only always had electric since I moved out. This sound reminds me of home. And I like it.

Yes, you are an ugly 70s yellow. Yes, your clock still works. Yes, the backlight still works - although it takes a few seconds for it to warm up before turning on. You have been good to our family. Part of me wants to get the kitchen updated, but honestly, most of me wants you to stay as long as you can. It wouldn't feel like home without you.






love,
kath

My new space heater

Dear Oscar,

Thank you for your kind note you left on my desk along with my space heater that you found still running when you came to clean the office. You didn't know that I just plugged in my new space heater that day and didn't know all of the rules involved with having one at my desk. My bad. I hope you have noticed that I have heeded your warning and unplug it every day because I certainly do not want to go see Jerry to reclaim it.



sincerely,
kath

ps...can you clean-clean the women's restroom and refill the hand sanitzer? please and thank you.

Mopeds and highways

Dear Moped driver on Lynhurst and Sam Jones Expressway around 11:30,

I hope you made it to your desintation safely. That was me 2 cars behind you going 25 mph on the exit ramp. Yes, I was frustrated and I'm sure you weren't having the best experience of your life since it is 19 degrees out there today...you surely were freezing. I was more concerned about your safety and health than I was ticked off. Next time, please find back roads that you can safely travel at slower speeds. Thank you very much.

Love,
kath

p.s. i did try to take a picture but then quickly thought about how mad oprah would be at me if i whipped out my blackberry to snap a photo while exiting on the ramp...

Ampad Blue Notebook

Dear VMS,

During my time working for you, I gained a lot of experience and knowledge. I learned many things about myself and when I was 'laid off' last March, I discovered how much I wasn't my authentic self there. But that's not why I'm writing you today...that's for another day.

I want to say thank you for introducing me to this blue notebook. I really don't miss much about being there except for the unlimited access to the stock of these great notebooks. Thanks to me, I kept your supply cabinet well stocked with these little things. Because God forbid we run out of these precious notebooks - that would be a bad, bad day. They definitely aren't cheap and I don't like buying them myself, but I can't help it. I'm addicted to them now. Thank you for that.



Kind regards,
kath

Dear Family,

This blog was created all in fun to document the crazy and random things that happen to us. We can't make this stuff up...it just happens. This is not meant to be serious or mean anything - so take it all at face value. These are observations of actual events. None of the names have been changed to protect the innocent...cuz again as I said in the first sentence, really it's all in fun...get a sense of humor please.
Love, Kathy