Thursday, April 22, 2010

DId I really just say that?

Dear family -

Yesterday was a frazzled day for me. Before the winning vs non-winning ticket deal, something funny happened at work...

After washing my hands in the bathroom, I noticed a string hanging off the bottom of my shirt. I grabbed it and figured out it was the tag to my shirt that was sewn on the side seam. Of course, as you would guess, my first instinct was to yank it off. But after the first tug, I knew that it would pull the seam out. I was holding onto it as I was walking out of the bathroom door.

I ran into another co-worker on my way out. You know that awkward little dance you do when you both are trying to go through the same door. She stops. I stop. We both try to go at the same time. We both stop. We smile politely at each other. She looks down. Sees I'm holding the tag. Doesn't say anything. I look down to see what she's looking at. Realize it's the tag. I muttered something about it being my tag... and then told her that I was going to try to jerk it off as I let her go through the door first. Yes, that's what I said, JERK IT OFF as we were passing each other in the doorway.

After she went into the bathroom and I was in the hallway, I busted out laughing saying, 'jerk it off', to myself. Giggled all the way back to my cubicle and took this picture so I could share it with you. :)

frazzled,

kath

p.s. in case you wondered, I cut it off.

Non-winning Lottery Ticket

Dear Jim @ Speedway gas station,

I'm sorry to say that you did not sell me the winning Powerball ticket yesterday afternoon when I visited the station. Based on our agreement stipulation of winning, you lost out on the new car you requested.

You were nice enough to not call me out for being so absent-minded and for that, I thank you! When you asked me if I wanted the winning ticket or the non-winning ticket, I imagine that many comments flowed through your head when I replied, "I don't know. Can you explain the difference?". When you didn't answer and I looked up to see your facial expression, it occurred to me what you had asked me... DOI! I have to admit that I wasn't totally paying attention - if that wasn't obvious enough for you. I don't buy lottery tickets often, as I mentioned to you, but when I have, I'm usually asked something about payout or buyout or something I don't even recall...see how much attention I pay to it?

with a sad, sad heart,
kath

p.s. You told me it only takes one ticket to win. Just not mine, this time. Iwon't be coming to your speedway until I'm not mad at you anymore.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

haters

Dear haters,

this one's for you. i have nothing else to say. i'm speechless. but, this makes me smile every time i see it.



love,
kath

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pronunciation

Dear all speaking folks -

Him is pronounced [him]...sounds like hymn. Not heem.

Bin is pronounced [bin]...not Ben.

Study it. Know it. Learn it. Live it. Speak it.

you are welcome,
kath

Friday, April 9, 2010

Smokers

Dear smokers -

If there is a sign that says "THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING IN THIS AREA", what part of that do you not understand? There are only a few restricted areas around here - you have the entire rest of the parking lot.

The problem for me, personally, is that you leave your cigarette butts behind - polluting the environment. That gets in my crawl. There are probably 500 butts surrounding the ground just where the signs are. It's almost like people have emptied their ashtrays there.

Smoke all you want, even in the non-smoking areas, but take your freaking trash with you!



earth lover and non-polluter,
kath

Monday, April 5, 2010

Other authors

Dear other authors of this blog -

What's up? You going to contribute anything or WHAT?

xoxo
kath